There has been so much going on in the world lately, particularly the USA. EVERYTHING about these past 2 weeks have been so incredibly energetically charged, and for anyone that is in this awakening process (because there are LOADS of us!), you can only image the INTENSITY behind all of these feelings.
I have never been an emotional person. In fact, I can count the times on my two hands (with the exception of getting spankings when I was younger, and pregnancy!) that I have cried. I’ve even heard several people say that I can be really cold-hearted, and I mean, I can accept that. The old me WAS that person, but this NEW me is a hot mess of crazy, flowing, unfiltered emotions, and BOY!, it is so beautiful, but also, the WORST! I have an image to protect! SHEESH! But this always leads me to start thinking about being in these two different worlds.
There is the “Earth” Sammie. This 3 dimensional, programmed, free-on-a-long-tether kind of Sammie. The one that is still tied to all of these material things, these notions of how things are done because of how they are perceived. The Sammie that still lives to live for the desired outcome.
Then there is the “Light” Sammie. This high vibrational, living in peace and love, who is a kind and forgiving, high energy person who doesn’t watch TV and who isn’t tied down by the constraints of every day 3D living. The person who consciously remembers that living in the moment and living as I TRULY am is the best way to connect to the consciousness of this entire planet. It’s the best way to stay connected to my higher self, to my intuition, to my Guides (The Crew), to the Great Mother Gaia, and to my Higher Power.
One would think that it would be so easy to stay right in that “Light” all of the time. I mean, let’s be real here! Would you rather live in a roach infested studio apartment on the wrong side of the tracks, or a beautiful beach front property where the ocean breeze awakens your senses every morning? Easy choice! But what if everyone you know, everything you do, everything you need to know is on the other side of the tracks?
This need to know what is happening in our world and the pull to continue to gather all of this information, to stay involved in such a pivotal time in our country’s history has been really intense for me, but all of the brings down my vibration, and makes it harder to connect, and when I can’t connect I start to feel a little lost. A little despondent, and that leads to me getting sucked in even more.
Trying to balance being present in our society and actively involved and being aware of what is happening to me emotionally and spiritually as I continue on this journey, has been rather difficult, particularly this week with all of the Executive Orders being produced by our current president. Feeling the energies of the people around me, the energy of the collective, it’s….different now, and it makes it so hard to keep shifting between these two planes of “dark, heavy, loaded, charged, intense” and “airy, light, clear, grateful, peaceful”. The contrast between “loaded” and “lighted” is so drastically different, and living on “the line”, so to speak, can be really jarring.
So what have I been doing? How have I been managing this intense immersion in both worlds? How do I stay stable and manage all of these emotions and changes?
For starters, I’ve been staying really connected to the spiritual village I have created. I’ve been going to my healing circle on Tuesdays, connecting with other Superhero friends on lunch breaks for a quick bite or the commute home. I bought tarot cards and started channeling (and have been so RIDICULOUSLY accurate that even my wife’s mind has kinda been blown away, but the Tarot is for another post!). I pray a couple of times a day. I balance and clear my chakras. I get reiki done. I do my best to stay grounded. I help where I can. I hug when I can. I cry when I need to. I meditate. I meditate. I meditate!!!
I am staying connected to the “real world” by watching the news (which I KNOW I shouldn’t really be doing but I want to be engaged in conversation and KNOW what I’m taking about. Also, I’m the Lesbian daughter of Latino immigrants in a same sex relationship with my Caucasian red-haired wife, my foster/adopted daughter, and my 3 multiracial children that were delivered by BOTH of us, although they are 100% biological siblings and the news currently is SUPER relevant to my life), getting out into the world and engaging with the people around me. Staying abreast of rally’s and community events. Donating money and time to make changes to our wonderful planet and our great country (despite our new leader!). Finding volunteer opportunities where I can share with my children the heart of sharing your time and energy for a common good.
And that’s when it hit me! That’s when I realized that my ENTIRE life I have absolutely been living in this EXACT SAME SPACE, except this time, I actually know what is going on when I have all of these “racing thoughts” and all of these flutters in my chest and tummy, this sort of aloof and disconnected feeling. I’m recognizing now that being in this two different worlds is such a blessing. Knowing what I’m feeling, knowing that I can contribute to my world and my society BECAUSE I understand this other side of me, has shifted things.
When I feel overwhelmed by what is going on around me, I meditate. When people are engaged in deep and sometimes heated conversation, I can come in and infuse it with kindness and visualize love and kindness pouring from me to them. When I feel sadness from the souls that I see on television telling their stories of joy and triumph or pain and strife, I send them healing energy. All of that is so much better than just sitting in the uncertainty and the uncomfortability. To know that my energy can be sent out into the world, that it’s REAL…that really changes things. And it has made this duality, this conundrum of living in these two worlds, not only just bearable, but a lot more intersting and fulfilling…
Love and Light,